Nurturing: Dada Style

Topic of the week starts here and without further delay, let’s get into it.

It takes a village to raise a child, but most times, you only have a household which consist of two different adults to contribute to the upbringing of a child. In my case, I’m co parenting so that means it’s just me raising two toddler boys in my home (Send help. S.O.S. Page 911).

This means I have to learn to be more than a provider. It’s been a bumpy road, but I’m here to share what I learned to help the rest of you Daddy-Os out that may be facing a similar situation.

  1. Patience is everything. You have to remember that while they are human, they were just born (almost yesterday) and they need you to teach them EVERYTHING. Breathe before reacting to any accidental spills and don’t fault them for not knowing pennies are not edible.
  2. Adopting a softer side is necessary. You can’t tell them to go get hugs from their mom when she lives elsewhere. They need that loving touch when they ask for it and even sometimes when they don’t ask. Reminding yourself to lovingly touch them throughout the day is idea.
  3. Discipline them like children and not like soldiers. While I think of my boys as my little soldiers, they are just toddlers curious to all things. Even to how we,as parents, react to them when they stand up to us. Be stern and consistent, but always let go of your anger and discipline from a place of love.
  4. Make sure they eat the proper foods. I’ve learned they are not yet ready for dads eccentric meals so I have to keep it simple for them. They can be picky, but I hated staring at that unforgiving pile of black eye peas and being forced to eat them.
  5. Google is your friend. Any questions on how to deal with any life situations can be easily found on the web. Use it to your advantage when challenged with any kind of new infancy/toddler behavior.

Ultimately, our generation is forming a new wave of parenting. It’s important to pay close attention to what we do as papas and to ensure they are getting the best of both worlds from us regardless of what mom is doing in or out of the same household or not.

Nurturing isn’t as natural to men, but as long as we try. That’s what’s important.

The Millennial Dad

Better late than never. Let’s get to it.

Let me just say; being a mom is difficult from what I can tell. Especially depending on your situation. Some moms are left to do it all themselves and raising a child is one of the hardest challenges you’ll ever face in life. I’m thankful to all of you that stick to your responsibilities as a mother. Keep doing what you’re doing and may abundance of all you desire come to you aplenty.

This week though, we’re going to focus on the single dads. I, myself, am one of them. I’m one of those…don’t want to miss a moment, hands on, let me show you how to box (err..wrap a box I mean), kinda of dad.

Here’s where the dilemma lies, folks. My dad was the traditional father that worked constantly/provided and left all the raising to my mother. I turned out nicely, but being a single father means I have to fill both shoes.

So the talking points are as follows:

  • Nurturing and discipline the dad way
  • Making your offspring your #1 concern
  • Positive role model reenforcement
  • The truth about fatherhood. Real talk.

This is one topic you won’t want to miss! I’ll see you tomorrow with the first discussion.

Step into my world even further by following me on Instagram.

Letting Go of Contempt

You’ll get two post for the price of one today! My Friday sucked so I’m behind.

Let’s close last week topic out with this post. Check out the beginning of it here.

It’s so easy to give into the mild habits and mediocracy of the day to day. The feeling of compliancy taking over what’s left of what you imagine your future could be. It’s something we all deal with. Sad to say, most people don’t realize what they’re doing and go on to live their lives in contempt because our parents/authority figures did just that.

Snap out of it! You are not your parents!

You are yourself. A whole other human full of dreams, aspirations, endless potential and spirit. Times have changed since we were kids. While I’m not knocking the generations before us and how they got things done, we have so many more opportunities to think outside the norm for what we want for ourselves.

We have to capitalize on the internet and technology age we’re living in.

Shake off the influence of normality we were brought up under. Dig through the depths of your mind and retrieve your imagination again to create the life you want to live by seeing it first. If you’re unhappy with your situation, know that you are more than capable of changing it.

We all have hard times and are stressed beyond what we think we can handle. Truth is that nothing worth having is easy. So while we may seem to be under pressure most our lives, it’s what it takes to know what happiness is and how to obtain to it.

The key is to never quit seeking out your happy place.

Outlasting The Unexpected

Check out the start of this week’s topic by clicking here.

Top of the morning/day/evening to yous! Let’s not waste anymore time.

Shit happens. No matter how prepared we are to face the troubles of the world, their is always the unexpected. Flat tires, breakups, natural disasters, etc. These things happen and we may feel alienated from the world and think “Why me?”

I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. Here’s a Micheal Jackson song to reiterate the point called “You are not Alone“, but listen to it after you finish reading this, dudes and dudets.

The pandemic we’re facing may have made this feeling worse, but we’re all in this together. We all share the same pains and griminess of life. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone to help you cope with the issues through conversation. Let it all out!

The main point here is that others can relate to you. Share your pain and when you’re not in pain, help those around you that are. Find ways that work for you to quickly bypass the issue and move forward with problem solving.

Never take the setback personal. It’s apart of growth so try not to feel sorry for yourself (for long, if at all). Accept that it happened. Apply pressure to overcome it. Carry on.

Be strong and stay diligent my friends. See you, tomorrow.

Overcoming the expected and unexpected odds takes the same energy. Just make it happen.

Career Emancipation

No time to waste. Let’s get back to it!

Nowadays it seems like all we do is the same ole shuffle. Wake up. Work. Sleep and repeat. It’s easy to keep the routine going when the bills need paying. You start to blend in with society and think “This is what life is for us.”

Its not though. We all deserve more than 2 weeks of vacation and $50,000 a year salary (if you’re lucky to get that much). We gotta break out of the molding here and shake things up for ourselves and our families.

Good news is that you you can change it at anytime of your life!

Plenty of ways to get the freedom we deserve instead of being tied down to the same mundane schedule. We have to make our own way, but it’s not easy. Takes determination, fortitude, and courage.

A few suggestions to jumpstart your entrepreneur brainstorm.

  • What are you naturally talented at with the least amount of effort and can you make it profitable? Everyone is looking for something. Your talents can be that something!
  • We all have dreams/goals we think about or gave up on. Time to revisit that area of your life and introduce new habits and thought processes to your day.
  • Risk will need to be taken to escape the 9-5. It may take money and/or time, but it’s worth the learning and the outcome.

I’m still working this portion out of my life, but I’m done being afraid of change. We all have a marvelous part to play in our ever growing society, but it’s up to YOU to wake up and find it. Thanks for reading.

You deserve the time to live your own life by your schedule and not there’s!

Under Extreme Pressure

Yesterday was a holiday and now I’m back!

This week, I’ll get into a topic that we all can relate to in this shorter week span. The topic is -Extreme Pressure-

If you’re alive right now, you know that life has us all in a vise grip. Just the simple tasks of the day get harder and harder.

That’s why I’ll tackle a couple topics and what to do to take the load off. Topics like:

  • Working just to live and die
  • The unexpected emergency anamoly
  • Securing happiness over contempt

We all have what it takes to make it to the finish line of this thing, but the amount of regret and comfortability will set us apart from the rest. Stick with me and get some top notch tips to make your strides count!

Eccentric info from my complex experiences; coming right up!

Confidence Usage

This is it for the week so right into we go.

Confidence. Women love it when we have it. We know that women love it when we have it because we get a lot of attention from them, single or not. This is where the misplacement occurs, my guys.

While its fine to converse with other women, we cannot use this confidence where it will cause a chip in the foundation of our relationship. The thing to remember is this:

Do not use your confidence to entertain other women on any level at all whether it’s dms, texts, or anything else that falls here.

While getting that phone number or email does boost our confidence, actually communicating with the other woman (no matter how innocent) can cause lust to creep in and you’ll find yourself at square one and with #1: by yourself!

If it ain’t professional, or a girl in the friend zone, keep away for best results.

That ends this week’s discussion. Good Luck and see you, Monday!

Power Over Lust

Start with the beginning of this week’s topic HERE and get caught up on the thread.

Let’s get started.

Even when we have the prettiest girl on the block hanging on our arm, something whispers for us to checkout the lady across the street. We try not to feed into it, but the demand happens so fast that it becomes our natural reflex to comply (Don’t try it!)

Or that one hottie on Facebook/Instagram that you friended and she decides to post her morning yoga workout photos and something says you should compliment her, but in her DMs so your gf won’t see (it’s a trap, I tell you!).

Lust. Lust is that nasty little something that nudges you to do these heinous acts.

While it’s typically harmless to look at another attractive woman (or sneak a peek depending on how your woman views this action), this type of behavior has to be controlled. If left unchecked, kemosabes, it can run amuck on your relationship and lead to cheating. Lust is damn near impossible to eradicate, but their is one single measure to take in every situation it arises.

Trick is to acknowledge it’s there, but never act on it outside of your relationship. A wave at the lovely neighbor is plenty. Scroll and glance at the yoga girl post and scroll passed it. Actually, unfriending unknown attractions is the way to go (Believe me)!

Self control is the name of the game. Use it to redirect all of it towards your gf/wife. This is why lust needs to be acknowledged, but not acted on unless with her. We all are sexual creatures. Lust as you will.

Just save it for that special lady of your’s!

Acknowledge, but never Act unless directed at your lady!

Fighting the Libido

If you’re just joining us, check out the start of this week’s topic HERE, first.

Let’s get right to it.

Men are typically horn dogs. Their is no getting around it. Can you blame us? We’re wired to think about sex all day long. Something in our genetic code created the urge to hunch..I mean hunt for sex partners. Much like the lion that chases the gazelle; it’s embedded in our DNA.

So most men have high sex drives which again is no secret. Another common reason that leads us to cheat.

The trick is driving your sex and not letting it drive you down Cheaters Lane which, from my experience, is a dead end. Sure, you could make a U turn and get back on Faithful Road, but that time you made to make that pit stop is gone, along with her trust and respect for you.

Never fear! Here’s some surefire tips to keep you on Route Monogamy when your sex drive starts to swerve.

  • Communicate with her if she doesn’t know your sex drive. It’s important to get someone that can drain your gas tank whenever you need to go for a drive if you know what I mean.
  • When in doubt, jerk one out. Of course this trick only applies in private settings. So if you can’t get to your gf/wife/partner before entering or after exiting temptation areas (bars, clubs, sundress season, etc.), put Palmela and her 5 friends to work! Takes the edge off.
  • Watch less porn. It’ll keep your primary sexual focus on your partner instead of the multitude of women types (size,shape,race,etc.) and imaginery situations that are easily accessed in porn. Make her the one you fantasize about the most.
  • Avoid large temptation zones or limit your time in them. Use the time to focus on yourself. Exercise. Read. Beat it. Whatever.
  • Send all sexual energy towards your partner! If you’re feeling horny, let her know. You’ll never know the appreciation of you wanting her and only her all day until she gets you in her grasp!
  • No social media flirting! That’s tomorrow’s topic though so wait for it.

Those are just a few pointers to keep you in control, hombres. As I said, I haven’t had much luck in the past without applying these and when I did have the control, the woman didn’t and that’s a whole other weeks worth of material.

Fight back! Don’t let your sex drive, drive you!

Male Social Pressure Angst

If you’re just joining me, check out my previous post introducing the matter at hand HERE.

Let’s jump into it.

Guys experience social pressure like you can’t believe. While most girls are raised to find that one lucky guy to be the groom, boys are quite the opposite.

We are groomed to play the field from the jump, leaving us at a disadvantage in the relationship thing. From our TV heroes that have multiple women to those around us that practice the same lifestyle that encourage us to do the same. They all seemed to have accepted the double standard that separate our genders.

Society gave men the ok to be with multiple partners, whether if it’s open knowledge or held in secret. The trick is that we as men have gotten so use to this being the norm, that psychologically we are ok with cheating. Stacking more false pretenses on an already rocky social issue, bound to collapse.

While it’s too late for me and my past ventures, here’s how you break the curse of the player through my eyes.

  • Take accountability for your actions or find someone (mentor, friend, etc.) that will. Letting yourself/them down will be motivation to think with your brain. Not your head.
  • Don’t crack under the pressure of society. Just because your friends, parents, and/or all media outlets made it feel ok to cheat, it’s not. Realizing this is paramount.
  • Increasing the number of gfs you have at one time only feeds your ego. That only benefits self, and no one else. Let go my ego! Avoid this trap. You always get caught no matter what. ALWAYS!
  • If you are interested in someone else, break up. Sure she’ll be heartbroken, but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the scorched earth cheating does to the female psyche.

My last and final tip on this matter for the guys: Be sure you are healed after every altercation with love/lust. This is the most vital step of resisting the pressure. Be alone. Find yourself. When you’re ready, get back out there. A heartbroken man can cause other hearts to break almost effortlessly. Mend, lift your chin, and try again!

Tell yourself you will not be at fault again and MEAN it.

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Let me know what you think in the comments or fire off an email and I’ll add the talking points to Friday’s post. Thanks for reading!