In Meditation~

I appear somewhere between my subconsciousness and the dark matter of my brain. Here, I had no connection to my emotions, but I could recognize them in colors as if I have been doing this my entire existence. Perhaps, I have without knowing? It was then I connected the dots. The “Aha” moment hit me.

I could recognize that sadness was blue because of how others associated it with the saying “Why so blue,”. Anger being red, linked to how a fire starts and can rage out of control. Coincidentally, red is my favorite color and I’ve struggled with anger issues.That yellow smiley face sticker that has survived the ages, stained in my mind and represents joy. Fear had plagued me most of my adolescences and teenage years until I joined the military. It was revamped and made to be a white canvas to be painted on with any of the other colors; not to conceal it, but accept it hand in hand with the other branches of the seven emotions. We’ll touch on those branches another time, but an example of it is a slight variation of red means courage. Green was easily identifiable as disgust. The color burned into my psyche from years and years of cartoon illustrations that showed characters’ faces turning green before barfing along with my feeling towards all green vegetables as a child. A purple flash would occur when I encountered surprise. A color that means royalty and prestige, but not here. Purple was my high school colors and with me being picked on at random times and dates, I never knew when it was coming. Then there is contempt. Simply black; not void of all colors, but able to layover them like a table cloth, covering any and all hues. A nothing space if you will.

Some may argue that love is a core emotion and I would have to disagree. Love is tricky and shape shifts constantly. Anyone that has experienced any form of love has been able to associate it with the core seven. Whether it’s the sadness of heartbreak and loss or the joys that come with the buzz of a first kiss. While love does this effortlessly, you can never know where you’ll find this emotion hiding until you actually do find it. In my reality, it’s more of a chameleon.

The rest of the emotions are variations/combinations of the seven core. And this is what mediations allow me to do; categorize the feelings without actually feeling them, but simply witnessing them. A method of mastering my emotions and not letting them control me or define who I am.

You should try it. Let me know what you think.

Do You really know who you are?

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