If you can’t stand the heat

Here’s a short tale that is meant to entertain. I like to call this segment, fiction or nonfiction. You’ll have to decide that for yourself. Give it a read!

-If you can’t stand the heat-

A couple decided to make steaks for dinner a few nights ago. Maria came up with the idea while they were grocery shopping. A task that her boyfriend, Trent, enjoyed about as much as one would enjoy drinking motor oil. While Trent does provide the funds for the event, Maria comes up with the meal plans. This particular day, Maria has been prepping two steaks by soaking them in an unknown marinade for the last 2 days. She used a family recipe and sealed them away in ziplock bags. Now the time has come to reap the rewards of a combined effort of the past and present.

The couple just came in from a walk and had already come up with the plan of attack. Trent takes Maria’s dog, Gizmo, out to relieve himself, while she goes to work on the steaks. Once letting Gizmo out into the fenced in backyard, he makes his way back indoors to leave Gizmo to do what he does. That’s when Trent notices an unusual amount of smoke, filling the kitchen, dining area, and living room. 

“I don’t think it’s suppose to be so much smoke,” Trent said as he waves his hand directly in front of his face in an attempt to keep out the effects of smoke on his sensitive lungs. Trent looked at the oven top and finds a cast iron skillet filled with a light layer of grease. The smoke was evacuating the pan as if it was a Volcano, reacting to the seismic activity hidden under the surface. “Maybe you should turn down the temperature of the grease.” Trent kept his cool, not knowing that things were about to get dangerous. 

Maria gave him a disapproving frown. “I always cook my steaks this way and there is always a little smoke. Trust me. They are going to taste great!” She has been eating the steaks in this sauce for years and now she’s excited to have someone to share the taste with that has never had the family recipe before. Nothing was going to stop here for showing Trent how much she cared about him through all these little steps of life together. 

All the fire alarms started to protest with her cooking. They screeched now; in an even heavier smoked home. Trent scrambled to open the windows. After he took down the fire alarms and removed the batteries out of each one. Turns out the house had more than 4 of them despite it being a 3 bedroom home.

“This is way too much smoke, Maria. Turn the heat down before you start cooking the steaks,” Trent stated while trying to direct some of the smoke through the dining room window with a magazine.

His girlfriend complies and wonders where has her dog been during all this. “Just go outside and get Gizmo. I don’t want him running off.” Although the backyard is fenced, she still fears he will somehow make his escape from the hardships of spoiled puppy life. Trent simply nods and steps out back to get him. Trent was relieved to be standing out back in the fresh air of nature. He could see Gizmo far off in the yard. He started to make his way to retrieve him.

“OH MY GOD! TRENT!?” A heightened Maria screams from indoors. Without a second thought, Trent leaves Gizmo outside and rushes back through the door. Just as he clears the hall, flames could be seen dancing from the skillet, wildly. Maria had a kitchen towel, waving at the fire frantically as it rages beneath the range, threatening to burn it and the rest of the kitchen down if it doesn’t get out of the way. 

“WHAT THE FUCK,” Trent shouted as he runs to her aid, pulling her back from the flames while simultaneously assessing what his next move will be. Three choices came to mind. First one is to turn off the eye. Impossible. The switch is behind the wall of flames. Second option is to remove the pan from the heat source. An cast iron skillet could be heavy and hot, but more feasible to accomplish. The third option is to grab Maria and watch the place burn from the outside from a safe place. Also likely to happen, but last resort. Trent chose the second option, grabbing an oven mitten, putting it on and using that hand to lift it from the eye. The pan was heavy, but he knew dropping it wasn’t an option. With flames still raging, he had no choice but to place the fiery object in the sink. The fire than gets angrier as the pan is tilted into the sink, flames shooting up higher for some odd reason. Not ready to lose his gfs home to a grease fire by running to the third option, Trent grabs Maria by the arm, never losing sight of the fire and asked “Where is the fire extinguisher?”

She pointed under the flaming sink before replying “Under the sink.”

Just as Trent goes to retrieve it, the fire dies out.Was it direct intervention by the angels that watch over the couple, only intervening at their time of need? Or perhaps some other direct inference by God himself?

Not exactly, but maybe.

Turns out the skillet had tilted over enough to let the grease pour down the drain in the sink, killing the fire instantly.

The steak stayed in the pan during the duration of the fire and it was cooked well done. They opted to cook the other steak in the oven. With no damages to any of the property, they had a laugh about it and ate the steaks for dinner.

They were delicious.


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