Not easy being a Role Model

The end of this week is nigh and so is the topic for the week. Start here and catch up.

Let’s take a swing at this thing.

We all had role models growing up and our children will be no different. The difference is that times have changed, ladies and gentlemen. As fathers, we have to be present and set the example for who we want our sons to be and our daughters to date (I know thinking about her dating made you cringe).

I have learned quite a bit about several things while my boys are young so I won’t be prone to make the mistakes later when they become more impressionable. Here are a few quick tricks and tips to apply.

  • Monitor what they are watching.
  • Put down the phone and pick up a book.
  • Set the bar high by being a better you.

Their are influences around them daily. You have to let their little minds explore and see things, but be there to let them know what is good and what is bad. What’s acceptable and what they should avoid. They may be crazy about Batman now, but you’ll be a hero to them for years to come.

My sons and their Grandad. He was a pillar for my growth and also for them as time sees fit.

They Are Number 1

Two post for the price of one today because I owe you. Father of all topics start here (pun intended).

Let’s get on with it.

The number 1 rule to keep in your mind at all times is that your sons and daughters come first. They didn’t ask to be in this crude, twisted, yet sometimes livable world of ours when you gave them life. Once born, they are defenseless and while mothers are as strong as they come, fathers are vital, too.

Learning to sacrifice important things throughout the infancy prepares you for the long road of fatherhood. One example of this is sacrificing sleep the first few months to make sure they feel love and protected.

Moments like those set the stage moving forward in their lives and in ours.

Being able to be selfless and create an unconditional love from birth is the best thing for a dad to do.

Most mothers develop this throughout the pregnancy. It’s up to us as fathers to create that bond ourselves. Once the bond is established, making them the priority becomes natural. Thanks for reading.

Create the bond and your actions for them become natural afterwards.

Nurturing: Dada Style

Topic of the week starts here and without further delay, let’s get into it.

It takes a village to raise a child, but most times, you only have a household which consist of two different adults to contribute to the upbringing of a child. In my case, I’m co parenting so that means it’s just me raising two toddler boys in my home (Send help. S.O.S. Page 911).

This means I have to learn to be more than a provider. It’s been a bumpy road, but I’m here to share what I learned to help the rest of you Daddy-Os out that may be facing a similar situation.

  1. Patience is everything. You have to remember that while they are human, they were just born (almost yesterday) and they need you to teach them EVERYTHING. Breathe before reacting to any accidental spills and don’t fault them for not knowing pennies are not edible.
  2. Adopting a softer side is necessary. You can’t tell them to go get hugs from their mom when she lives elsewhere. They need that loving touch when they ask for it and even sometimes when they don’t ask. Reminding yourself to lovingly touch them throughout the day is idea.
  3. Discipline them like children and not like soldiers. While I think of my boys as my little soldiers, they are just toddlers curious to all things. Even to how we,as parents, react to them when they stand up to us. Be stern and consistent, but always let go of your anger and discipline from a place of love.
  4. Make sure they eat the proper foods. I’ve learned they are not yet ready for dads eccentric meals so I have to keep it simple for them. They can be picky, but I hated staring at that unforgiving pile of black eye peas and being forced to eat them.
  5. Google is your friend. Any questions on how to deal with any life situations can be easily found on the web. Use it to your advantage when challenged with any kind of new infancy/toddler behavior.

Ultimately, our generation is forming a new wave of parenting. It’s important to pay close attention to what we do as papas and to ensure they are getting the best of both worlds from us regardless of what mom is doing in or out of the same household or not.

Nurturing isn’t as natural to men, but as long as we try. That’s what’s important.

The Millennial Dad

Better late than never. Let’s get to it.

Let me just say; being a mom is difficult from what I can tell. Especially depending on your situation. Some moms are left to do it all themselves and raising a child is one of the hardest challenges you’ll ever face in life. I’m thankful to all of you that stick to your responsibilities as a mother. Keep doing what you’re doing and may abundance of all you desire come to you aplenty.

This week though, we’re going to focus on the single dads. I, myself, am one of them. I’m one of those…don’t want to miss a moment, hands on, let me show you how to box (err..wrap a box I mean), kinda of dad.

Here’s where the dilemma lies, folks. My dad was the traditional father that worked constantly/provided and left all the raising to my mother. I turned out nicely, but being a single father means I have to fill both shoes.

So the talking points are as follows:

  • Nurturing and discipline the dad way
  • Making your offspring your #1 concern
  • Positive role model reenforcement
  • The truth about fatherhood. Real talk.

This is one topic you won’t want to miss! I’ll see you tomorrow with the first discussion.

Step into my world even further by following me on Instagram.

Letting Go of Contempt

You’ll get two post for the price of one today! My Friday sucked so I’m behind.

Let’s close last week topic out with this post. Check out the beginning of it here.

It’s so easy to give into the mild habits and mediocracy of the day to day. The feeling of compliancy taking over what’s left of what you imagine your future could be. It’s something we all deal with. Sad to say, most people don’t realize what they’re doing and go on to live their lives in contempt because our parents/authority figures did just that.

Snap out of it! You are not your parents!

You are yourself. A whole other human full of dreams, aspirations, endless potential and spirit. Times have changed since we were kids. While I’m not knocking the generations before us and how they got things done, we have so many more opportunities to think outside the norm for what we want for ourselves.

We have to capitalize on the internet and technology age we’re living in.

Shake off the influence of normality we were brought up under. Dig through the depths of your mind and retrieve your imagination again to create the life you want to live by seeing it first. If you’re unhappy with your situation, know that you are more than capable of changing it.

We all have hard times and are stressed beyond what we think we can handle. Truth is that nothing worth having is easy. So while we may seem to be under pressure most our lives, it’s what it takes to know what happiness is and how to obtain to it.

The key is to never quit seeking out your happy place.

Outlasting The Unexpected

Check out the start of this week’s topic by clicking here.

Top of the morning/day/evening to yous! Let’s not waste anymore time.

Shit happens. No matter how prepared we are to face the troubles of the world, their is always the unexpected. Flat tires, breakups, natural disasters, etc. These things happen and we may feel alienated from the world and think “Why me?”

I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. Here’s a Micheal Jackson song to reiterate the point called “You are not Alone“, but listen to it after you finish reading this, dudes and dudets.

The pandemic we’re facing may have made this feeling worse, but we’re all in this together. We all share the same pains and griminess of life. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone to help you cope with the issues through conversation. Let it all out!

The main point here is that others can relate to you. Share your pain and when you’re not in pain, help those around you that are. Find ways that work for you to quickly bypass the issue and move forward with problem solving.

Never take the setback personal. It’s apart of growth so try not to feel sorry for yourself (for long, if at all). Accept that it happened. Apply pressure to overcome it. Carry on.

Be strong and stay diligent my friends. See you, tomorrow.

Overcoming the expected and unexpected odds takes the same energy. Just make it happen.

Career Emancipation

No time to waste. Let’s get back to it!

Nowadays it seems like all we do is the same ole shuffle. Wake up. Work. Sleep and repeat. It’s easy to keep the routine going when the bills need paying. You start to blend in with society and think “This is what life is for us.”

Its not though. We all deserve more than 2 weeks of vacation and $50,000 a year salary (if you’re lucky to get that much). We gotta break out of the molding here and shake things up for ourselves and our families.

Good news is that you you can change it at anytime of your life!

Plenty of ways to get the freedom we deserve instead of being tied down to the same mundane schedule. We have to make our own way, but it’s not easy. Takes determination, fortitude, and courage.

A few suggestions to jumpstart your entrepreneur brainstorm.

  • What are you naturally talented at with the least amount of effort and can you make it profitable? Everyone is looking for something. Your talents can be that something!
  • We all have dreams/goals we think about or gave up on. Time to revisit that area of your life and introduce new habits and thought processes to your day.
  • Risk will need to be taken to escape the 9-5. It may take money and/or time, but it’s worth the learning and the outcome.

I’m still working this portion out of my life, but I’m done being afraid of change. We all have a marvelous part to play in our ever growing society, but it’s up to YOU to wake up and find it. Thanks for reading.

You deserve the time to live your own life by your schedule and not there’s!

Under Extreme Pressure

Yesterday was a holiday and now I’m back!

This week, I’ll get into a topic that we all can relate to in this shorter week span. The topic is -Extreme Pressure-

If you’re alive right now, you know that life has us all in a vise grip. Just the simple tasks of the day get harder and harder.

That’s why I’ll tackle a couple topics and what to do to take the load off. Topics like:

  • Working just to live and die
  • The unexpected emergency anamoly
  • Securing happiness over contempt

We all have what it takes to make it to the finish line of this thing, but the amount of regret and comfortability will set us apart from the rest. Stick with me and get some top notch tips to make your strides count!

Eccentric info from my complex experiences; coming right up!

Confidence Usage

This is it for the week so right into we go.

Confidence. Women love it when we have it. We know that women love it when we have it because we get a lot of attention from them, single or not. This is where the misplacement occurs, my guys.

While its fine to converse with other women, we cannot use this confidence where it will cause a chip in the foundation of our relationship. The thing to remember is this:

Do not use your confidence to entertain other women on any level at all whether it’s dms, texts, or anything else that falls here.

While getting that phone number or email does boost our confidence, actually communicating with the other woman (no matter how innocent) can cause lust to creep in and you’ll find yourself at square one and with #1: by yourself!

If it ain’t professional, or a girl in the friend zone, keep away for best results.

That ends this week’s discussion. Good Luck and see you, Monday!

Power Over Lust

Start with the beginning of this week’s topic HERE and get caught up on the thread.

Let’s get started.

Even when we have the prettiest girl on the block hanging on our arm, something whispers for us to checkout the lady across the street. We try not to feed into it, but the demand happens so fast that it becomes our natural reflex to comply (Don’t try it!)

Or that one hottie on Facebook/Instagram that you friended and she decides to post her morning yoga workout photos and something says you should compliment her, but in her DMs so your gf won’t see (it’s a trap, I tell you!).

Lust. Lust is that nasty little something that nudges you to do these heinous acts.

While it’s typically harmless to look at another attractive woman (or sneak a peek depending on how your woman views this action), this type of behavior has to be controlled. If left unchecked, kemosabes, it can run amuck on your relationship and lead to cheating. Lust is damn near impossible to eradicate, but their is one single measure to take in every situation it arises.

Trick is to acknowledge it’s there, but never act on it outside of your relationship. A wave at the lovely neighbor is plenty. Scroll and glance at the yoga girl post and scroll passed it. Actually, unfriending unknown attractions is the way to go (Believe me)!

Self control is the name of the game. Use it to redirect all of it towards your gf/wife. This is why lust needs to be acknowledged, but not acted on unless with her. We all are sexual creatures. Lust as you will.

Just save it for that special lady of your’s!

Acknowledge, but never Act unless directed at your lady!