POEMS

The Party’s Over (Part 2)

Outside, the sun peeks over the horizon. Everyone is already gone and you’re all alone.

You’ll find that it’s much colder when you’re by yourself. You put on a coat to stop the chill. You cover your heart to heal.

Sunrises don’t look the same anymore without her. You wear shades to block the rays. You stay in the dark where it’s safe.

Walking without distraction, pulls you to memory lane. You use earbuds to deafen the mind’s voice. Music cuts the pain of her choice.

Will you ever be the same again?

Ha.

Turns out their is a funeral to attend.

Buried inside, the old you, within.

3 thoughts on “The Party’s Over (Part 2)

  1. How did I JUST NOW see this?

    I think that God knew I needed strength from somewhere in this chaotic mess of reality that is my life for no reason that I can figure – and it’s so frustrating.

    I’d like to think that she directed me to this post. Maybe to say hi? Maybe to tell me that everything is and will be ok?Maybe to tell me that she still loves me?

    Tearssss. Everything has been so messed up, so backwards, inside out and upside down since we lost her. Still.

    We are all just trying to find a place in this world without her. My DD called today too… ironic. I haven’t talked to him in probably a month?

    It’s… awful now. Without her.
    And learning now how to save myself, when time and time again – she saved me and didn’t even know that she did, learning how to pick myself up and dust it off, and keep going… it’s a hell of a lot more difficult that you could ever think. And 8 months later, I still haven’t figured it all out.

    The things that I’m supposed to figure out in life right now is overwhelming. We will see how it all works out I guess.

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    1. You think life is pretty hard for you when you’re a teenager and you think all the answers to problems just magically appear after high school is over, but man. The truth is life is tough. It fights you to the bitter end unless you can figure yourself out. The ends and outs of making YOUR life better. I know it’s been rough since she passed and I’m wishing all the things it takes to give you strength in her absence. We gotta look out for each other the best way we know how. Reinforcement through words and prayer will go a long way. Hope the best for you, Bailey. 🌞❤️🙏

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      1. This post is seriously everything that I felt, but in words that I couldn’t find to say.

        Ive been ok lately. I still have my moments. She played such a HUGE role in my life – just by touching this world at the same time that I did. She’s such a beautiful angel, and if I look for her, I know she’s still there. I find happiness in sunrises still – even though I’m too depressed to drag my aching body out of bed early enough to see one.

        I found a picture that read: “May every sunrise hold more promise and every sunset hold more peace.” And it has. I’m slowly figuring things out for both Brady and I. However, there is some pretty heavy judgement that I ran into like a wall – somehow she held it all back while she was here. It was time for me to face it all though. I miss her everyday. I have pictures of her throughout my house. My memory is the worst – and I’ve come close to forgetting how she once was, so I now remind myself daily of all that her life represented. We had a wind storm that was compared to a category 2 hurricane – and the first thing that I thought was of her headstone. My aunt and DD(her widow) take “fake” flowers out to it and decorate it so beautifully for the season – everything she loved. Fake flowers because her and I shared the hatred of throwing away something that once held so much beauty. Wind gusts of 70-90 mph raged through these dust filled grounds…

        She wrote me and Brady (along with everyone else) letters titled “read after I die”(how can you write that??😭) And she said what we agreed to focus on when she was sick – when the time comes for God to bring me home too, “[she] will be waiting. And [she’ll] have so much to show [me].” She wrote also how proud of me she was. And I will ALWAYS remember the two stories that I’ve told many times. She’s always been my angel. And now she truly is.

        I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you write something like this for her. She would appreciate your words, and she would be so excited to hear that she touched someone else in the world that she didn’t even speak with. Thank you, Trey❤️❤️❤️

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